Under the cover of night, last night, I slipped out to the mall – a guerilla operation – sneak in, acquire a couple of non-holiday related items, and sneak out. Given the time of year, I realized it to be a risky operation. Surprisingly, I found it not at all crowded. Surely a retail ploy, akin to Point of Purchase display stands, designed to lull us into a false sense consumer confidence. [Weeks from now, I’m sure I will regret not finishing my shopping last night] So why was it I had to stand in line? I will tell you why. Because of the little check out girl, let’s call her Dory. Now, I don’t know if that was her name, but we’ll call her that to see if you are paying attention. I watched this poor little fish out of water - bottom lip a quiver, gasping for water; brown eyes bulging behind the simulated aquarium wall of her glasses; I even saw her reach to her neck in search of gills no longer there – as she floundered and flapped behind the customer service desk. And I thought to myself - aside from ‘Why doesn’t someone drop her back into the tank before she dies?’ – ‘When did on the job training become a part of collective holiday experience?’ Retailers are so desperate for help, that they pluck young “fish” from the tank and drop them behind cash register to help with you ever increasing stress level. Somewhere, in some Havard Business School Master’s Thesis is the retail theory of “Walk, Breath Air or Die.”

Will little Dory make it? Perhaps it’s too early to tell, but then again with the sharks and feeding frenzies she will encounter in the coming weeks, her survival is minimal. Most likely, she will be used as bait to lure shoppers back into the mall after the holidays. So, think of little Dory, as you stand in Disneyland-esqe lines to buy that last minute trinket. When you see that bottom lip gasp at the air, remember, she’s trying to breathe air for the first time, you can’t expect much more from her.

So pull open the door with the little fish on it, Day Two of your Advent Blog is here and inside you find TWAS, today’s holiday movie. A short to be exact (2:43), directed by Michele Remsen, featuring little Evelina Van Norden (pictured above). Go to Atom Films website: http://www.atomfilms.com/af/content/twas?afhomeclicktrack=COM1 (if it doesn’t come up as a link, copy it into your browser), sit back and enjoy the funniest holiday tidbit since MAD TV’s Raging Rudolph. Twenty Two days left gang, we can do this. Ho Ho Ho.