America has had a time honored love affair with puppets. Edgar Bergen’s Charlie McCarthy. Sherry Lewis’ Lampchop. Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent, the Muppets, Greg the Bunny, George W. Bush. Puppets are cute and acceptable, until we the audience, can see the “strings / hand up the ass” of the puppeteer and we are reminded, yet again, that it’s JUST a puppet and they become relegated to that cultural wasteland - the floor of the closet, the bottom of the toy box, or that pre-dawn PBS time slot.

So, why the stroll through the land of felt and string, I hear you ask. It’s simple. I have had enough of pop culture’s current puppet icon and it’s time for that cigar smoking, unfunny, mockery of entertainment to be called into the light – and no, I am not talking about Triumph the Insult Comic Dog (although the similarities are uncanny) – I am speaking about the Governator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

In less than a month, the people of California are being asked to go to the polls (and foot the bill) for a special election of ballot measures granting Schwarzenegarian changes to the political structure of the state. Did his grand scheme for fixing something he knew nothing about, include the fiscal destruction of Sacramento? I don’t remember that being part of the rhetoric during the “appointment” process. Just like his pot-stirring cohort Darrell Issa, who called for the recall of Gray Davis, Schwarznegger himself, should have to foot the bill for this “special” election. But, alas, we will be stuck with it again.

So, those of you in “Kalifornia,” TIVO the November 8th showing of Terminator 3, get out and vote No across the board, on all of Arnold’s propositions. Regardless, of how you feel about them, this is not a fiscally responsible way to go about implementing these changes. Next thing you know he’ll be going after vending machine on school campuses. Send a message to the capitol, we don’t want his ballot measures and we don’t want him for another four years. Let’s send this cigar smoking, Hummer driving, high rent Mickey Hargitay action figure wannabe back to Hollywood where he belongs; give Maria a good meal and put her back on TV News where she belongs; and put a real politician – I don’t know who at this point – just someone with firm political agenda and proven track record, in the Governor’s office and start fixing the problems rather than creating more. I’m out. Peace.